Parenthood ONL (on 'notha level)

Hello from mama-land. All is pretty well, but two kids is no joke. Some friends take care of their kids full time, and I can see how it'd qualify as a full time job.

Edie's been sick twice since Emmeline was born. On the day she visited us in the hospital, she vomited in the downstairs lobby, the start of a stomach bug. Luckily my parents were able to care for  her and, sadly, keep her at bay from our newborn. This past Sunday she had a runny nose which morphed into a cough and wheeze that requires a nebulizer and meds to open up the airways. She's been home with me and Emmeline this week. Doctors' orders are to lay low, and we can't meet up with friends because I don't want to spread whatever she's got. I'm loving my time with both babes but we're watching more t.v. than I'd like. It is laughable trying to keep a toddler from coughing on a baby. We put a temporary flower tattoo on Edie's forearm; I told her to cough into the flower to make it better.

Edie getting better.

Edie returned to school for half the day, so we'll see how it goes. This morning she declared, "I feel better!" and she sounded better too. As soon as I told her we're going to school, she declared, "But I'm sick!" Funny how quickly they learn to manipulate the situation. Can you blame a girl for wanting to watch Cinderella with her mama and little sister on a dreary day?

Emmeline's a doll; so new and precious. Newborns smell faintly of milk, and it's basically impossible to keep the run-off milk from collecting in their sweaty little necks, even though I bathe and clean her. I'm kinda surprised that I'm so smitten with newborns, but I am. Especially ones who sleep and generally have a good temperament. That could all change on a dime, so every night that I get a decent amount of sleep is a victory. Tonight could be a train wreck, you never know.

Will she take a pacifier? What about a lovey?
Let's ply the girl with comfort objects.

My mom's been a great help. She comes over often and is of service, folding laundry or cleaning up my kitchen or holding the baby while reading to Edie, even if she's here for 10 minutes. What can I say, she's a busy lady. I don't even need to ask, she just looks around, sees, and does. That is the same industriousness that her mom and grandma passed down. My dad has also been here a lot, and he's great day-time company. Being home is nice, but can be isolating. He works in our basement, tinkers around the yard finding projects and weeds to tackle, and we chat while he eats our leftovers. Also, I believe he might've just finished off the gourmet English Muffins that Michelle sent, but I'll let that slide since he does so much to keep our house up. Yeah, I pay my dad in English Muffins.

Memere's got her hands full,
and Edie's got some avant garde bed-head.

On the other end of the spectrum, Dave has been working like a madman ever since his lovely and leisurely paternity leave ended last week. It was fun to hang out without the stresses of the workday overshadowing conversations. I don't think we'd spent that much time together since we had Edie and he had summer's off back in Seattle. We ate delicious turkey sandwiches on soft rolls for lunch (welcome back, deli meat!), and watched Inside Amy Schumer at 2pm.

Now, as the school year winds down, his grad school and work schedule are forming a perfect storm, and once in a while he plays softball (on one league down from an all-time high of three, so it seems reasonable). He recently asked if he could play 18 holes of golf this weekend with some buddies. For the uninitiated, it takes about 5 hours, assuming no beer and burgers post-game. I don't think I responded verbally, just flashed him a look that spoke a thousand words....unfortunately that look will probably make some more appearances in the coming years.

First day getting out the door in one piece.

Over the last few weeks, having two little kids has instilled a fear of commitment. I make minor plans, and attached to those plans is a footnote that indicates we may be late or bail, and please don't hold it against us! Just getting out the door in one piece means it's a successful day.

Emmeline has arrived!

Dave, Edie and I welcomed Emmeline Ashley to the world in the wee hours of May 2.

Before her arrival, I attempted to blog twice to kvetch about being overdue. But that's pretty boring.  And I wasn't even that bored or overdue, so I scrapped my drafts and decided to hold out for a post about Emmeline's birth story. I believe all pregnant ladies and new mamas love birth stories. Maybe some new dads do, too.

Dave and I picked her name around Christmas. We were driving up I-5 in Seattle, tossing around ideas to complement Edie's name and to honor family. We veer towards vintage, and there's a cutie at Edie's day care named Emaline. It means 'industrious' and we chose the French spelling (for those wondering, Emmeline rhymes with Caroline). People ask if we plan to shorten it to a nickname, as with Edie's, but we don't. We just love the full name, and picked Ashley to honor my little sister, whom I adore. 

We were asked throughout pregnancy all the way into the delivery room if we'd settled on a name. Our lips were sealed! We didn't even tell the midwife or nurse until she was born. Everyone has an opinion, and many feel compelled to share it with expectant moms. We liked having our little secret.

My Saturday due date came and went without so much as a cramp. I stayed busy baking with Edie, napping, and making my "Emmeline: Get Born" mix in the days that followed. On Wednesday, Dave took the day off to attend my post-due date appointment, where they checked amniotic fluid, did a fetal non-stress test, and swept membranes. Sweeping the membranes is a non-invasive form of induction. It starts cramping that ideally triggers contractions, which ideally progress to labor. It's strange but when you're in late pregnancy, you want to be in pain. It means the baby is on its way... and pregnancy is soon over. Hooray!

Around 4pm, we picked up Edie from day care and Dave started playing housekeeping with the class, when I felt some contraction pain. I was like, "Dave, take off that kiddie bandanna, I want to go home". We walked to the park to play and to keep contractions coming. After dinner and Edie's bedtime, they were definitely increasing. We packed up our bags and called my mom to come spend the night with our girl. I kept sitting down, standing up, and swaying through the contractions, then reading my magazine or watching 'Modern Family' in the time in between.

Around 10:30 I called my midwife, Kira. She instructed me to labor on and call when contractions "bring a tear to your eye". An hour later, small talk was painful and reading impossible. I was heavily focused on breathing and not vomiting at the smell of Dave's late-night chicken nugget snack. Kira gave us the green light to go to the hospital.

Admittal to the delivery room was stressful. The lights were on full blast, many people were in the room, the nurse kept missing my veins to get the IV in, and you know, those damn contractions kept crashing down like a wave. Lastly, it is impossible to feel dignified in a hospital johnny. Ugh. Labor may be less painful if I didn't have to wear that open-backed gown.

I was 6 cm dialated when we arrived at midnight, and ready for the epidural. My blood pressure had spiked, but subsided once the epidural took hold, they turned lights down, and everyone but Dave, Kira, and Emily the nurse left the room. We hooked up my Get Born mix and were able to relax a bit. At one point, Dave was sleeping while Kira, Emily, and I discussed eHarmony like we were three friends at a bar. I was tired and wanted to sleep, then developed a fever that they treated with antibiotics.

I got stressed out all over again and decided that labor is the absolute worst, even though I barely felt pain. There are so many twists and turns...you just want it to progress with ease. But then, it wouldn't be called 'labor'.

The baby's position and my cervix weren't ready until my water broke and the nurse drained a liter (a liter!!) of urine, around 3:45 am. After that, labor came on like gangbusters. In an hour, I was ready to push, and did so through about two contractions. She was born at 5:02 am, and it's just amazing to hear that newborn cry and have a squishy, warm new baby placed on your chest and look up at you.

And that's how Emmeline arrived in this world.

Downshifting

Can I get a high five? Maternity leave started at about 4pm on Friday, and over the last few days, I've fully embraced my new, mellower lifestyle. Who knows how long this calm before the storm will last?

Diaper cake and cards from my colleagues

Monday, Edie went to daycare to celebrate Circus Day. They did facepainting, rode bikes on "high wires" and jumped through "rings of fire". I love the imaginative play her school organizes. I also love when she knows games or songs that we didn't teach her. Last week, she belted out "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" after their school-wide Baseball Day. Hearing her sing about Cracker Jacks made my morning.

While she was at daycare, I did some spring cleaning, then went to mid-day yoga with my mom, followed by lunch. When I picked up Edie in my yoga pants she said, "You're not wearing your work clothes!" I said, "Well, I didn't go to work, I was home." Her eyes got real big: "You were...home?" I felt totally caught out by my whip-smart girl. We're planning to keep her in daycare, if not full-time, for a while. We want to maintain some level of normalcy and routine once the baby arrives. I already feel the mom-guilt settling in, but I suspect it'll be the best strategy for all parties involved.

Edie and I visited our local farm

Edie and I have had the last couple of days together, living up our girl time. We meet up with friends in the morning, go out for ice cream treats, play, and indulge in afternoon naps. Needless to say, I'm totally downshifting my pace. I have a to-do list, but my daily goal is to nap; so far I'm excelling. Yesterday we baked an Atlantic Beach Pie, courtesy of a recipe on NPR, and brought it to my parents' house for after-dinner. It was off the hook.

A springtime recipe to hold onto: Atlantic Beach Pie

Being pregnant the second time is different all around. For example, when pregnant with Edie, I had butterflies every day thinking: "THIS MIGHT BE THE DAY!!" Now I'm highly doubtful our baby will arrive early, plus I'm not as anxious about labor/delivery/parenthood in general. Furthermore, I realize how elusive a good night's sleep will soon be, and that's why my current strategy is sleep.

Of course I don't know how this labor and delivery will go down, or what kind of temperament our new girl will have, but here are some things I'm pretty confident about:

1. The human body figures out childbirth, recovers, and forgets the physical pain of labor. (And, there are epidurals for a reason). 
2. No one really stops to review your precious birth plan, so there's no point in creating one. 
3. Once she arrives, the first couple weeks will be a fog. It's better if there is some good late-night programming to dive into (Shark Week during Edie's first few days meant captivating TV at ungodly hours of the night).
4. Family and friends will offer to help, and we'll accept offers big and small. So it's ok that I don't have a freezer stocked with casseroles and lasagnas like books recommend. Trader Joe's makes some awesome frozen dinners, and they ain't going anywhere. Besides, isn't it hot dog season?
5. Edie will probably have a tough time adjusting to a sister competing for our time and attention. She'll eventually adjust, and so will we. 
6. Newborns cry a lot and need to be fed, oh, every 8 minutes. But they are so darn cute and cuddly. And they have that dreamy newborn smell.

I have some random home projects to do, but primarily I'm going to enjoy a slower pace and time with my friends and family.  Life will be chaotic soon enough.

Enjoying an ice cream date with my girl

Soft ground, warm heart

I need to write in my (nonexistent) 2014 calendar, under last week in March: VACATION. I'd like a friendly reminder about the perfect time to escape Connecticut so I don't sit around waiting for the ground to thaw. Maybe I'm just anxiously awaiting our baby. The arrival of Spring and the baby are intertwined.

Freezing buns off, pre-5k

Edie's been incredibly cute, and very into dancing. She didn't want to leave school yesterday because she was having a solo dance party. Today we all relaxed after work to Wilco and watched her best moves (spin around real fast, bonk head on floor, with a smooth transition into downward dog). It's pretty entertaining. I love when she hears music when seated, cannot contain the urge to move, and just goes for it. That is pure Edie.

Twenty five pounds of cuteness

In other news, my cousin and her family are moving back here! I'm super excited about this prospect, because she's one of my besties. Their daughter Camden and Edie, who are 10 days apart, are destined to be besties too. No pressure girls! They've been living in the suburbs of Boston for years, but now that they have two little kids, want to be closer to family and all the support that abounds here in central CT. It's the same magnetic pull that draws young parents to leave cool cities for less cool suburbs. I can attest that it's a hard trade (i.e. have I mentioned how much I miss Seattle coffee and music?), but when you have little kids and demanding jobs and homes that your dad can help improve, leveraging family support is a no brainer (have I mentioned how helpful and invaluable my parents are??).

So far, everything's been falling into place for their move to happen, but we aren't popping champagne yet. It's just something I have in my back pocket to look forward to.

Michelle and baby Shane

My dad has been hard at work renovating our basement. Until a few weeks ago, it was your typical basement. Furnace, washing machine, bunch of knick knacks from the former owner that we ignored. Now that our dining room doubles as a toy box and our office was repurposed as Edie's room, it seemed time to expand the living space.

My Dad had some time, and he's an incredibly talented craftsmen, so we set him to work! We've had the plumber retrofit the plumbing, an electrician and his dutiful son light up the place something beautiful, and now my Dad is hanging sheetrock along the ceiling and walls. It's starting to look like a place we'd actually like to hang out, and I'm pretty jazzed. I have dreams of doing early morning workouts down there, and an organized, well-lit work space, and a futon for out of towners. Or maybe it'll just be another catch-all for baby and kid gear. Padded walls and rubber floors? We'll see.

Happy feets

Guess this all requires money, doesn't it? Not sure that abounds much these days...But, cheers to being broke young parents with dancing toddlers and loving families.

Playing outside while the ground thaws

If pregnancy were a book...

“If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters." - Nora Ephron

These days, I'm just lucky to find a shirt that fits before it's time to leave in the morning. There are multiple phases in pregnancy, and the glowy, magical, isn't-this-wonderful stage passed a while ago.  Now I'm in the my-body-feels-like-an-alien phase. I don't hate pregnancy, but the end is uncomfortable, tiring, and I believe I'm going to be asked every day by a colleague when I'm due. They think it's tomorrow.

I'm nearly 34 weeks (Etsy t-shirt find)

I do like that the days are getting longer, randomly warmer, and I spied a little green thing peeking out of the mulch today.

Ugh, the mulch!? Do I need to start thinking about doing yard work already? This worries me. Edie told me there's a river in our backyard, and unfortunately she's right. There's a long, thin pool of where a dead tree was felled, and it needs to be filled with dirt and covered in grass seed. This project feels out of my scope. Today my boss suggested hiring a landscaper to do a spring cleaning, and I embraced this idea wholeheartedly. I need to call my friend Jeff who has a landscaping company. STAT!

About all the yard I can handle (yet another Etsy gem)

I've finally got my hands on our shared Kindle. I first read The Fault in Our Stars, and finished in record time. Now I've got Gone Girl for book club. I am a library enthusiast, but with a Kindle I can have a book in the flick of a wrist, and that is amazingly efficient. I'm all for efficiency, and Amazon makes it way too easy to spend money. Also, I never said I was an early adopter (see Kindle, Gone Girl, The Fault in Our Stars).

Sweet ballet doll (you guessed it- Etsy!)

Tonight we went to a fundraiser at my mom's school for the annual musical, which she produces. The show is "Annie", and we're bringing Edie in a couple weeks. Edie's more of a ballet enthusiast than musical aficionado. She asked me to turn off Manu Chao during dinner the other night and put on "ballet". So I found a classical radio station and she was very into it. She wanted to see ballet dancers on t.v. while I tried to explain we just listen, not watch. I tried to find a ballet class for her, but they start at ages three and up. Who would've thought I'd have a ballerina on my hands? The Nutcracker set her passion on fire.

Everything's gonna be allright

I'm officially 8 months pregnant now and counting down the days.

Although time seems to creep along during the uncomfortable, unsleepable third trimester, lately days are going by fast because we are all so busy. But our collective stress level is sky high. I recognize I'm not my best self right now to those who live with me. We are both working a lot, and working hard. There seems to be little availability of time, patience, and understanding at the end of these intense days.

At work, I'm training the temp who will take over my role while I'm on maternity leave. We have another six weeks of training, and if I do a good job, I'll be able to transfer some of my responsibilities to her while I'm still there. All is going well, as she seems capable and good-natured, but teaching the nuances of my job for the better part of the day, while also making sure all of the work gets done, is exhausting.

Around Christmas, I took on some freelance work for a local planning firm, doing the kind of design and marketing that I love. They're a good client, and have been offering additional projects. On top of that, I've been helping a friend revamp her non-profit's logo in exchange for some free publicity for my t-shirt company. Which reminds me, I need to get my new website developed, and launched since I'm trying to generate publicity! What is wrong with me?? I just can't. say. no.

Dave is going full-force at his job, pursuing leadership and extracurricular opportunities on top of his daily teaching duties. He's writing papers and studying on the weekends for his sixth-year degree, and interning with the high school administration here in town in his, ahem, free time.

Edie's been busy with her own project: potty training! We made decent progress when Grammy was here a couple weeks ago. Grammy and Edie spent a lot of time at home, with constant one-on-one attention. When Edie returned to day care, she'd sit on the potty but never peed. I felt that her diaper was a safety net (literally), and she regressed because she wasn't 100% comfortable outside of home. So last weekend, we pushed the potty hard, complete with undies, stickers, applause, and pull-ups only at bed- and naptime. We had a few accidents but it was largely successful, so on Monday I sent her to school in undies (and an open diaper in the seat of her $250 car seat - no peeing in there, girl!) We've had mixed results, but keep moving forward, and the diapers are only for bed time now. I would LOVE to have her fully trained within the next couple weeks. I hear kids can regress when a new baby arrives and they see parents' changing the babe's diapers. Guess we'll find out soon!

Anyway, it was great having Dave's mom visit, and she got her fill of Edie (the intent of her trip). They played with dolls, baked cookies, and visited the library together. Having a built-in Grammy/nanny was awesome for us too. Who doesn't appreciate someone doing your dinner dishes while you put the girl to bed, or a free sitter to make a Max Burger date reality?

We also had a visit from the Edmands family recently. I got to do a trial run of having an infant and a toddler by babysitting Shane. He is just the cutest little peanut, so mellow. Edie kept saying, "I think he wants his pacifier on" even though he wasn't fussy, and we kept everything under relative control for a couple hours.

Lastly, I found a good blog, CT Working Moms, that I refer to when my intense schedule and responsibilities get me down. Of course my mom, and Dave's mom, and lots of moms have balanced it all before, but I like reading about it in real time, and knowing I'm not in this boat alone.

Now if I could just wrap up some of these side projects...

Snow Blitz!

Blog Anniversary! This is the 200th post on Chez Moni. How's that for commitment?

Winter Storm Nemo fell upon CT with a furious pace, dumping about 40" of snow in one day. I haven't seen snow like this in a looong time. Snow always feels special to me, but this was on another level.

As usual, we packed our bags and drove to my parents' house once a couple inches accumulated. We do this before every major storm, and it's not like we need to evacuate at all. We have a perfectly good home that we pay a lot of money to live in, complete with heat, light, food, booze, flashlights, and wifi. It just feels more fun camp out with other people [who have generators]. Besides, my sister, Jeff and Colette were at my parents and I'd be damned if they all hung out while we were snowed in three miles away.

Actually, last weekend we were planning to go on a "ski" weekend in Vermont with the Rigbys and Edmands families (in quotes because most of us preggos/moms of small children/non-skiiers were not technically going to strap on boots or ride a chair lift. But we were planning on embracing the apres ski part of it, while being geographically close to a mountain). Our travel plans were mostly intact until Thursday, when we realized that work schedules and the severity of the storm weren't going to play nice. We sadly had to bail on our VT weekend. No hot cocoa, sledding, cookie cakes, or crafting sessions for us. Isn't it ironic that a snowstorm cancels a trip to the mountains?

We got to spend time with the usual suspects, eating our way through the weekend. Ashley provided a high-fallutin' charcuterie platter Friday night, and Belgian waffles the next morning, with choice of fruit, whipped cream, and maple syrup ("snowflake waffles" for the kiddos). Dave, Jeff, and my dad spent about 5 hours shoveling Saturday morning. My dad made a snow cave for Edie and Colette, but we were reluctant to put the girls in an igloo under 3 feet of snow (sorry, Dad!). My mom, Kitty and I put on our "snow clothes" (Dave's words), and went on an ambitious walk in the streets, as the sidewalks were nowhere to be found. After that excursion, you better believe I took a monster nap in my parents' basement. It was so dark and cozy, I was in my own little snow cave.

Once the driving ban was lifted in the afternoon, Dave went home to excavate our house. Whoa. He shoveled another couple hours, joining our neighbors in a shoveling party. He says everyone pitched in and helped, then shared cold beer and warm cookies afterwards. I love our neighborhood for exactly this reason, and it made me kind of wish we'd been here for the weekend.

Oh well! We were busy watching 'Silver Linings Playbook' and eating Elmwood Pastry with my family. My sister and I are in our 30s, and all we have to do is suggest to my Dad that a dozen donuts and some bear claws from our town's donut institution (and my former employer!) would be yummy. He returns with half the store, all in white cardboard boxes. Powered sugar and glaze was everywhere, and as the sun rose over the snowy hills, I felt truly blessed.

Lastly, we adopted another cat. Her name is Frankie Valentine. I've always liked the name Francesca, although we're so not Italian, we couldn't get away with naming a kid that. And Valentine because on the day we got her, we made Valentines. Plus, Frankie sounds kinda boyish. She looks a lot like Catsby, but is actually more cuddly and less athletic. If there is a lap nearby, she's sitting on it. And so far, she is not going outside.

Mama's orders.