Tuesday, September 23, 2008

running wild


Two weeks ago I found out I had my identity stolen-- social, d.o.b, name and a former address were swiped and abused. The thieves rang up bills at Sears, Macy's and Best Buy in Pennsylvania, opening new accounts and using an old one as well. Who is doing this? I imagine the thief is a white-trash couch potato buying chintzy gold chains and Tasmanian Devil sweatsuits. Or perhaps it is a Quaker, just dying to break free of their commitment to plain livin' and tote a bag plastered in 'Gucci'. Or what about the Amish? The adolescents rebel during 'rumspringa'-- meaning 'running wild'-- before returning to embrace their faith as adults. Maybe they bought some sweet rims for their new ride. F that old horse and buggy.

Needless to say, it has been awful cleaning up the mess they made of my name and credit. I do feel that I'm making progress, but it's a challenge to cover all bases. Over the last couple of weeks, I feel like they've highjacked my life. I'm sure they got a hold of the info from the laptop that was stolen from my apartment last year. Please, friends, do everything in your power to prevent this from happening! Let me know if you want some tips. The Federal Trade Commission has some good resources.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

faux axl rose

Dave thinks we sat next to Axl Rose on the plane back from NY. The guy was a total imposter. First of all, Axl is like 50 lbs overweight. Secondly, last I knew, he had dreadlocks. (Nothin' worse than a white guy rockin' dreads).



Faux Axl turned to me early in the trip and said, "I'm so high". What do you say to that? Give him the bullhorns? Daps? I just smiled. I swear he ate candy the whole 5 hour trip.